no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
