is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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