Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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