NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
