I only kidnapped one of them. chill
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
