Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
