I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
