the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
