Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
