Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Pooping to opera.
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