guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
