I'd wear matching sweaters with you
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
