he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you didnt know i had herpes?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
