Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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