i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
