fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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