You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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