so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
