How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
