I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
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So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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