this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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