Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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