So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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