He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
