I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize