we have pet lesbian snakes
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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