We're facebook friends in real life
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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