8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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