what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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