I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
