mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
