Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
