Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
