apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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