I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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