I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
there is glitter all over my balls
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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