So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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