You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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