i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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