there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So many bounce houses so little time
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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