The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
