I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
