She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
