That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
