I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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