And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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