i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
