I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
