the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
