Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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