oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
