do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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