STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
