now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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