he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
