when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it's like iHOP with fire
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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