In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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