no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
