Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
