Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
