I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
