you guys were way drunker than both of me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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