Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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