gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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