Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
