in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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