is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
