yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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