Apparently you make a good broom.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
